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Timbi Talks About Addiction
MEET TIMBI
- Timbi Talks about Addiction is designed to help drug- endangered children cope with parental substance use disorder (SUD).
- I originally wrote the book over 30 years ago for my kids to help them find language to talk about their father's addiction.
ADDICTION IS A FAMILY DISEASE
Affecting each and every member
BUT CHILDREN ARE OFTEN OVERLOOKED
IN TREATMENT AND RECOVERY PROGRAMS
This is what the multigenerational impact of addiction looks like in my family.
Both of my parents are adult children of alcoholics. So, I was raised with all the “isms,”
if not the alcohol that went along with them!
Because I was raised in a dysfunctional home and exposed to alcoholism, I was more likely to marry someone who has the disease of addiction.
Joe was both a police officer and a fireman.
We looked like a normal healthy family.
He loved us all, but his addiction would eventually take over his life.
We tried very hard to get help. We even tried the “geographical fix.”
We moved to Tennessee...
...but so did the addiction.
Today, my daughter struggles with addiction and has not seen her children in over 2 years… the cycle continues.
That is what the Multi-generational Impact of ACES looks like
- An NIH study found children of substance abusing parents are more than twice as likely to have an alcohol and/or drug use disorder themselves.
- Children of substance abusing parents are at risk for a wide variety of other negative outcomes: emotional, social, and behavioral adjustment problems.
- Risk for poor outcomes among children living with a parent who has a substance abuse history is reported among those as young as 2 to 3 years of age.* * https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ACEs Traumatic experiences that occur before the age of 18 and are remembered throughout adulthood.
- Verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual and physical abuse
- Being raised in a household with domestic violence
- Alcohol and or substance abuse
- Parental separation Evidence shows children who experience stressful childhoods are more likely to:
- develop health-harming and anti-social behaviors
- perform poorly in school
- be involved in crime
- less likely to be a productive member of society I knew my kids were experiencing ACEs. I knew I needed help to talk with them about their father’s addiction.
I searched for help.
Instead of finding help, we found ourselves alone, ashamed and stigmatized.
- Open communication
- Name the feelings
- Let kids know it’s not their fault
- They have no control over their parent’s behavior
- #endthestigma My goals for ‘My Daddy Has a Problem’
There were books about sharing, nighttime fears, and even pooping!! But NOTHING about addiction and how it effects the family.
So I wrote it myself.
No publisher wanted to print a book about addiction that was geared toward very young kids.
Of course, not talking about it did not make the disease go away in my family, nor did it stop the effects of it.
This is the last picture of my kids with their father.
He died soon after this photo was taken from an accidental overdose of OxyContin in 2009.
There is the ripple effect of the disease.
- We become numb to the numbers.
- But numbers are people.
- There is a human toll.
- A life:
- A daughter, a son, a husband, a father…. a mother, a friend.
- And there is devastation for many generations from each one of these people suffering from addiction.
THE TRAGIC STATISTICS
- From 1999 through Jan 2023 over 1.1 million people have died from a drug overdose. *CDC
- Over 109,000 people overdosed in 2022 alone. *CDC
- Over 300 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose.
*CDC
- 18.5 million children are impacted by at least one parent’s substance abuse. *NaCOA
- Close to a half a million children were in the Foster Care System in 2017. *CDC
- The median age of children entering Foster Care is 7. *SAMHSA As the opioid epidemic was making national news, I saw people suffering.
I knew struggling families needed this story... Now more than ever.
But this time I didn’t take no for an answer. Timbi was born.
Let’s listen to the story now.
How Timbi helps… Timbi “talks” in language that is accessible to young children ○ Introduces concepts and practices that build resilience, and ○ Promotes a sense of agency in their chaotic lives.
The Timbi “Bear”
- Hugging has emotional and physiological benefits.
- It fosters production of beneficial neurochemicals like oxytocin and endorphins.
- Timbi provides immediate relief, ongoing comfort and is as an ever-present companion.
- Children reported wanting to take Timbi with them wherever they go!
Who wouldn’t love a hug from Timbi...
Tiny Timbi Goes everywhere the child goes!
Here’s what Timbi’s Talking about...
- The parent did not choose the disease.
- The parent may act strangely or leave and not come home.
- The child is not alone:
○ Other children have a parent who struggles with addiction. ○ Safe trusted adults are available to help.
Addiction is a disease....
This was my granddaughter’s safe trusted person.
This is her 3rd grade teacher who she finally confided in about her mother’s addiction who acted and called DCS.
Safe trusted people save lives It’s not their fault...
- Young children are egocentric by nature; they can’t see the world from another’s perspective yet.
- They engage in ‘magical thinking’, believing that their wishes can affect their environment.
- They need to be taught that adults are responsible for their own behavior. Learning to tune in...
- The stress and trauma can be felt in their body.
- They can learn to listen to their body.
- They can be more in control of their reactions.
- Take some deep breaths—the body automatically calms down.
- Sit on the floor feeling your feet on the floor is grounding.
- Nature is calming to the nervous system.
- Play is a way to activate neural circuitry of joy in children.
- Singing or shouting can have the effect of freeing the voice for other communication.
Gaining control...
- They are an automatic response to the situation.
- Studies show labeling emotions reduces the physiological response.
- Awareness is the first step of gaining control
- Emotions are fleeting, but rumination allows them to persist.
- The goal is to disrupt the rumination.
Emotions are perfectly natural...
They are good They are loved They are strong as can be Finally, Timbi helps the child know...
Here is a list of skills and practices the child can be encouraged to develop. The activity book reinforces and broadens the message of Timbi Talks.
Using multiple pathways of learning makes the message ‘stick’ better.
Through play, children have access to neural circuitry that enhances learning.
Basic guidelines for using Timbi with displaced and traumatized children:
- Adults should project a calm, quiet exterior to children. (Co-regulating)
- Adults should let children know they are safe and not to blame for the circumstances.
- Traumatized/abused children will need time to feel safe and should be given space to become comfortable with their surroundings.
- Holding/hugging the Timbi bear provides comfort without having to have physical contact.
- Children can get immediate relief with simple breathing exercises… especially when done together.
- Children are sensitive and pick up on signals of tension and stress.
- Their vocabulary is limited, and they can’t express their feelings effectively.
- “Listening” to their body is is crucial to allow the release of stress/trauma.
- Children can circle the symptoms that “speak” to how they are feeling. Being out in nature has cognitive and physiological benefits. There are very specific neurons that get fired when outside.
Children are asked to describe a ‘happy place’ while engaging multiple senses.
Studies show this kind of imagery can be stress relieving Finding a trusted person is fundamental to to the child’s improved functioning. Studies show smiling makes people happier. The facial muscles send a signal to the brain.
Noted trauma specialist, Bessel van der Kolk, writes that being able to feel safe with other people is the single most important aspect of mental health.
Timbi remembers to be thankful. Gratitude is another positive emotion that has been shown to improve well-being.
Timbi hugs his Teddy and feels better. Give Timbi a hug! Hugging activates beneficial neurochemicals.
Children think about and draw something that helps them feel better
- This facilitates formation and retention of positive thoughts
- “What fires together, wires together.”
- All these exercises enhance the neuroplasticity of the brain and help rewire neural circuitry. Some pages are just for fun.
- Offering a break from the learning to foster assimilation of ideas.
- During play, specific neural circuits become engaged, which provides a special opportunity to wire some positive messaging in the brain.
- To make the book more appealing--more like a ‘funbook’ than a ‘workbook.’
Some pages are just for fun.
Timbi has been enthusiastically *embraced* as a resource in treating the family disease of addiction.
Our law enforcement partners love having Timbi all wrapped up and ready to go to work when they need it!
Coming soon… Lambi Learns about Addiction and Prevention My name is Lambi, but I am a bunny.
Isn’t that strange and isn’t that funny?
You’d think I’d be a lamb, but I have long ears.
I’ve learned not everything is as it appears.
Timbi sets are available for $45 for non-profits.
Please visit Timbi.com or contact me at:
trish@timbi.com
–FRED ROGERS
“Anyone who does anything to help a child, is a hero to me.”